Homophobia kills. Loving Acceptance Saves Lives.

Homophobia kills. Loving Acceptance Saves Lives.
Ben was one of my closest friends. He killed himself when we were young. Like all very young adults, he was dealing with identity issues -- who he was, where he belonged, where he was going, who he could trust. He was also struggling with issues of his own sexuality, knowing his church, his parents, and many of his friends might be disappointed in him if they knew the issues he was wrestling with.

In those days, being gay, or even thinking you might be, was almost a death sentence. The suicide rate for gay and lesbian youth was ten times the rate of straight kids. The rate of substance abuse and depression was dozens of times higher, and it still is today. Homophobia was rampant, and slurs and jokes against gays and lesbians were the norm. Ridicule was everywhere -- in magazines, in movies, on television shows, everywhere (anyone remember Liberace or "Three's Company"?).



Back then, most people believed being gay was a "choice" or an illness. After decades of scientific research, and millions of people coming out of the closet to share their painful stories of rejection, we have learned a great deal. We now know people are born leaning toward one orientation or another, and that being gay has absolutely nothing to do with moral character, how a person's parents treated them, or their spiritual education.
Being gay has nothing to do with child molestation either, in fact, a much higher proporation of child molesters are heterosexual than homosexual. Sexual molestation is a power-play - a function of anti-social dominance and aggression inflicted upon those more vulnerable by people in power. Our children are just as much at risk-- maybe more -- being in the class with heterosexual teachers, than with homosexual teachers. Don't believe me? Read the research.
You cannot "pray away the gay" in you, any more than you can pray away your own brown hair or green eyes. Most people know from the time the are four or five they might be gay (or straight, incidentally). There is even some scientific evidence a person's sexual orientation may be genetic.
Homosexuality exists in the animal world, alongside heterosexuality, and may serve evolutionarily to keep colonies of animals from over-producing, while keeping caretaking behaviors strong. In the animal kingdom, not all adults reproduce (look at bees and ants!). Nature designs things so there are not too many children, whether it is a pack, or hive, or colony, or nest, for the number of adults who must provide for them. In other words, nature reminds us every adult is a constructive part of any community, whether they reproduce sexually or not. In many species, homosexual couples bond for life just like heterosexual couples do.
In human history, families have always existed with grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers, sister, and infants all living together in one camp or village (read the Bible for examples!). Nuclear family units are not natural in either the animal kingdom, nor throughout human history. Isolated nuclear family units did not emerge until the 1950s in most places, and only in post-industrialized nations. Many social scientists have found the social isolation found in nuclear family units without adequate social support networks can be psychologically damaging. Like all mammals, we are social animals who need to give and receive love.
As a result of a shift in understanding, many suicides can now be prevented with love and compassion. When I was a suicide counselor in Ypsilanti, MI for a few years after college, I heard stories like Ben's dozens of times, and each time, the person calling was in immense emotional pain. Comforting people, loving them, telling them there is nothing wrong with them just because they are gay, and reminding them they are worthy human beings, just like everyone else, can go a long way to keeping people alive. We saved hundreds of lives that way every year.
I personally believe God is on my side every time I affirm, love, honor, respect, and lift up someone who happens to be gay. Being a compassionate human being is not the same as endorsing, condoning, or encouraging one sexual orientation over another. IT IS ABOUT COMPASSION AND JUSTICE. It's about liberty and freedom and all the things we hold dear as Americans. It is about decency, and brotherhood, and LOVE for our neighbor.
I also believe, and there is tremendous evidence to support my belief, the Bible has been interpreted and reinterpreted so many times, by so many cultures and governments, that some of what's left may not necessarily reflect the intention of its writer(s). It is probably much more of an evolving historical document than a Divine one.
The Bible tells us that which is Divine is in our hearts, and that G-d is love. The Golden Rule tells us to treat others as we wish to be treated. All of the world's great faiths teach us to "LOVE AND CARE FOR EACH OTHER". What more could we possibly need?
There are now churches and synagogues that welcome and affirm gay members and help them to feel lovable and valuable. These churches make it clear that loving people is not the same thing as endorsing behaviors or subscribing to a political agenda, and that all people are equal under the sheltering arms of a loving G-d. They put LOVE up front, where it is supposed to be, where Jesus and Moses and Ghandi and Martin Luther King Jr. and the Dalai Lama, and so many other spiritual leaders have told us it should be.
Losing Ben changed my life, and gave me my mission -- to offer compassion and comfort to people who feel disenfranchised in some way. That mission includes speaking out against injustice perpetrated toward people who are gay, lesbian, transgender and bisexual. They, WE, are all made in the image of G-d.
Whether you agree with me religiously or not, please help me spread the message within our communities, that OUR JOB ON THIS EARTH IS TO LOVE -- not to judge, humiliate, shame, belittle, torture, shun, banish, punish, or change other people. Please join me in condemning such hatred and emotional violence, every place, every situation, every time.
Life is too short for hate. I love you all (equally).

Nancy

P.S. For more information for families and friends of gays and lesbians, find your closets chapter of PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). They offer support for families and individuals, and have a comprehensive resource library on research on homosexuality.

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To My Friend "Ben"
Thank-you for your smiles that have never faded.
And for the laughs that still make me smile.
Thank-you for the fun that we shared together.
So many memories of good times,
never knowing it would end.
Thank-you for sharing your family with all of us,
and for making all of us your family.
Please know we will never forget you.


You left first.
Always the brave one,
always the one who trusted.
Always the one who believed it was going to be okay.

But it wasn’t okay.


How I wish I knew what you were feeling.



How many times I have wished I knew.

How many times I have wished I could have prevented it.
How many times I have wished away the pain...
for your Mom, your Dad, for your little sister, for us.
But mostly for you.

I am so very, very sorry I couldn’t.

I miss you today, just like I did then.

I miss your laugh – your greatest gift.

The one you gave to all,
So generously, so lovingly.
Everyday.
I don’t remember you ever asking for anything in return.
Your laughter still fills my heart,
and keeps me warm when I am cold.
Your friendship guides me in my work,

every day of my life.

Now, with the loving arms of your parents are around you,
you are no longer alone.

You were there to welcome them,
And to love them.
Just as you did in life.
I hope their loving arms have given you what you have waited for, for so long.
I wish I could be with you, too.
Someday, I will be.

And I will say,

Thank-you for making it okay, again.

IREA - Why our electic coop needs more progressives!

By Michael Chiodo.

Hi Everyone!

I imagine that I met most of you during the historic campaign we just had to elect Barack Obama! There are only a few weeks left before all of our hard work starts paying dividends. It is already a great new year!

Another Election

As important as the presidential election will be for the future of our country, there is another, less well-known election that SHOULD take place in April for our representative in District 7 of the IREA Board of Directors. I won't lie to you; this election will not have any of the glamour and excitement of the election we just witnessed, but it's outcome could hold as much importance for us locally. See, we as a cooperative electrical utility are in danger of flying in the face of the new green energy economy that Obama will be attempting to create to reignite our economy and return America to a leadership role for the rest of the world.

Right now, the IREA Board of Directors is made up of six appointed representatives and one elected representative in a body that should be made up of all elected representatives. (If anyone has any evidence to the contrary, I would love to hear it!) The six appointed Directors are suppose to be expressing the interests of their constituents, the co-op member owners behind each electric meter connected to a house or business. Instead they rubber stamp the decisions of the general manager and make little attempt to improve the course of the utility or reflect the interests of all of us in policies implemented by IREA management.

What Can We Do? This is where all of you come in and how we can change the negative course of our electric co-op! I want to tap into all of the energy and experience that we as a group collected in our successful campaign for change and channel it into getting a board member ELECTED who will look out for our interests in the co-op. We need to get a second elected voice on the board who will question the backward thinking of IREA management and challenge policies that have already been shown to be taking us in the wrong direction regarding consumption of natural resources for energy production, transparency and governance of a cooperative, best business practices, etc.

We are organizing to elect new board members in three districts, including District 7 which covers most of Parker. Even if you do not live in District 7, you can still help us get a new board member elected. Better yet, this campaign is not politically charged. Democrats and Republicans alike can agree on many of the common sense issues that are facing our co-op, but have yet to be addressed by a status quo board. That means if you want to help us canvass, you will not be faced with people ideologically opposed to what you have to say. It is a safe conversation to have with your neighbor, coworker, cashier, whomever!

IREA Voices is a non-profit, non-partisan group; but I am tapping into us agents of change, because I know we have what it takes to get a board member elected who will represent all of us into the energy future.

Upcoming Events

PLEASE come join us at one of our upcoming organizational events to get this critical campaign up and running:
- IREA Voices holds a monthly meeting on the second Sunday of each month. The next meeting is this coming Sunday, January 11th, at 3 PM at the Bridge Center, 9233 Park Meadows Drive, Littleton CO 80124 (You can access the public area through Panera). Everyone is invited!
- IREA Voices is also on the agenda of the next meeting of the Parker Democrats. This meeting will take place on Tuesday, January 13th, at 7 PM at Sierra Middle School, 6651 E Pine Lane, Parker, CO 80138

I truly hope to see each and every one of you soon!

Thank you, Michael Chiodo

P.S. If you would like to be added to the IREA Voices email list, please send me a message stating so. Alternatively, if you do not want to receive any future emails from me, please notify me and I will remove your name from my list of Change Agents in the Parker area.

Contact Michael at mchiodo74@gmail.com

Senator Michael F. Bennet? Why?

I don't know much about Michael F. Bennett, Superintendent of Denver Public Schools, Governor Bill Ritter's pick for US Senator to replace Ken Salazar. However, Gov. Ritter knows America is only as strong as her schools. We cannot compete financially in a global economy if we do not compete educationally. We need someone with experience pruning budgets who will protect public education at all levels at the same time. With the economy in dire straits, it is tempting to turn our nation's schools over to corporate America to fund them. Appointing DPS Superintendent Michael Bennet is a bold statement that Democrats can solve both our education and economic problems without resorting to corporate schemes to fund public education.

What is the threat to America's education system that Michael Bennet may be strong enough to face? The anti-public education movement in CO, spearheaded by CU President Bruce Benson, associated with the "Trailhead group" behind the anti-Ritter election attack ads, is an example. An article in Friday's Denver Post ("Free Us or Fund Us, Say Colleges", 1/2/09) tells of CU's Bruce Benson convincing other CO state college Presidents of the need to substantially raise tuition, pricing out lower-income students. From the article: "At least one lawmaker on the Joint Budget Committee agrees with the colleges. Rep. Don Marostica says the state's public institutions should be privatized and set free from legislative rules. This also means that, eventually, the schools would get no state funding."

For those of you who have not observed or spoken with CU President Bruce Benson, you cannot possibly know how dangerous this man is to public education at all levels, and how effective he is at political fundraising, networking and persuasion. Years ago, when Benson was appointed Chair of the Commission for Higher Education in Colorado by then-Governor Bill Owens, I spoke with him at length on the telephone (for 2-3 hours!) about my concerns as a parent. At that time, the Commission was considering narrowing the field of academic majors for teaching students to a few basic core disciplines, which would mean preventing students in the arts and social sciences from becoming teachers. In our telephone conversation, Mr. Benson's view of education scared the living daylights out of me.

Bruce Benson told me very clearly he did not value a well-rounded public education. He said the sole purpose of educating students was to prepare them for their careers in business. Any education beyond business was of no value to him. He thought teachers could easily be replaced with business leaders (with no specific training in the field of education). He literally called teachers who majored in the social sciences "airy-fairy hippies". He discounted the value of teachers who spoke languages other than English, and said minority teachers had "nothing extra to offer" just because of their minority status. He said teacher's pay should be tied directly to their student's test scores, said teachers should be punished for low-performing students, and said that the schools should literally be taken over by corporations, since they knew best which kind of workers they would need. He told me teachers at all levels were paid more than enough money, and referenced an article stating job fulfillment is not related to pay. Benson was ignorant of a study I referenced which stated one dollar invested in Early Childhood Education prevented at least seven dollars later spent on remedial education and criminal justice (one study said $12). There was absolutely no concern for the holistic needs of a student as a human being, nor for being an informed citizen of the world. Educating thoughtful, creative adults who can think for themselves did not even appear to be on Bruce Benson's radar.

After our lengthy and infuriating phone call, I called Jared Polis's office. At that time, Jared was on the CO State Board of Education. When I said Benson was a "piece of work", he said something like, "Now, you know what we are up against in this state in the area of education".

That was a number of years ago. The extreme right-wing corporate goals of this man scared me then, and they scare me now. Today, not only is Benson the President of CU, but he has convinced many other state college Presidents to line up behind him in "re-forming" education. Benson was not selected as CU's President because he had student's best interests at heart, but because he is an impressive fundraiser at a time when Colorado's colleges are suffering financially. Bruce Benson is not alone in his views. If given the opportunity, corporate America will take over our schools. We must not let them.

Denver Public School Superintendent Michael F. Bennet may be an "anti-Benson". His background indicates success in cutting costs in education without compromising quality, and without turning our children's minds over to opportunistic, soul-less, large corporations. Bennet clearly thinks outside of the box, and may have effective solutions for other economic dilemmas, as well. For these reasons, I support him for the position of US Senator. If he can address national economic issues while safeguarding our country's public schools at all levels, he might be a wonderful Senator.

This is just my humble opinion. What's yours?